I didn’t want anyone’s help with ideas
or transport
or logistics
or setting up – it was all on me.
I didn't want anyone else to know (other than her parents); I wanted it to be our special moment.

That meant that I took an expensive cab ride home from the proposal location, so my car was ready to go when we got there.
And that the picnic I had planned to set up before Mez arrived, didn’t quite happen in time.
I also had to lie to Mez and leave her at a pub, in order to escape and start the proposal plan.

But those details didn't matter,
she said yes.
I'm glad I could make it special, but I also could have used some help.

I wonder whether you go through life trying to do it all on your own.
Our culture is relentless in its pursuit and praise of self-sufficiency.
It’s seen as a developmental achievement for children.
It’s a ‘coming of age’ moment for teenagers / when you’re 26 and you finally move out of home…
And it’s a sign of success for those in their adult years.


A strong view of self is a good thing –
we are made in good and to do good.
We're made to flourish and live in confidence…
but not at the cost of dependence.
Not for the promotion of self.

We’ve taken something good and run wild with it.