Self-sufficiency
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
When I asked Mez to marry me I was so intent on doing everything myself.
I didn’t want anyone’s help with ideas
or transport
or logistics
or setting up – it was all on me.
I didn't want anyone else to know (other than her parents); I wanted it to be our special moment.
That meant that I took an expensive cab ride home from the proposal location, so my car was ready to go when we got there.
And that the picnic I had planned to set up before Mez arrived, didn’t quite happen in time.
I also had to lie to Mez and leave her at a pub, in order to escape and start the proposal plan.
But those details didn't matter,
she said yes.
I'm glad I could make it special, but I also could have used some help.
I wonder whether you go through life trying to do it all on your own.
Our culture is relentless in its pursuit and praise of self-sufficiency.
It’s seen as a developmental achievement for children.
It’s a ‘coming of age’ moment for teenagers / when you’re 26 and you finally move out of home…
And it’s a sign of success for those in their adult years.
A strong view of self is a good thing –
we are made in good and to do good.
We're made to flourish and live in confidence…
but not at the cost of dependence.
Not for the promotion of self.
We’ve taken something good and run wild with it.
Independence in our culture is out of control.
Independence means that I have made it.
I have done it.
I have arrived.
But where?
Have you actually got to somewhere you wanted to be?
We’re more self-sufficient…
and yet we are more reliant on technology than we have ever been – self-sufficiency is a myth.
We determine the moral right and wrong…
but we are more confused on what they mean – morality is shakily grounded within ourselves.
We place freedom as the ultimate goal...
and end up in bondage to sex, money and power – individual freedom has made us slaves.
We can’t control the future,
we can’t control our lives,
we can’t control anything.
Pick any issue: poverty, mental health, unemployment, asylum seekers…
the system is broken and we can’t control it.
Self-sufficiency is not the answer.
We need to recognise we have a need.
I have done it.
I have arrived.
But where?
Have you actually got to somewhere you wanted to be?
We’re more self-sufficient…
and yet we are more reliant on technology than we have ever been – self-sufficiency is a myth.
We determine the moral right and wrong…
but we are more confused on what they mean – morality is shakily grounded within ourselves.
We place freedom as the ultimate goal...
and end up in bondage to sex, money and power – individual freedom has made us slaves.
We can’t control the future,
we can’t control our lives,
we can’t control anything.
Pick any issue: poverty, mental health, unemployment, asylum seekers…
the system is broken and we can’t control it.
Self-sufficiency is not the answer.
We need to recognise we have a need.
As long as we claim to be self-sufficient,
as long as we pursue independence,
we’ll never be able to ask for anything.
as long as we pursue independence,
we’ll never be able to ask for anything.
We need to stop struggling for independence
and instead start seeking a hope that we can depend in.
and instead start seeking a hope that we can depend in.
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